Today’s Apple Keynote* sure feels like an early funeral.

I’m sure that when (not if) Steve Jobs dies, we’re all going to get three beautiful materials (horse shit, fake grass and real oak veneer) for our Keynote charts, an iPhone Memorial app (“carry your our loved ones near your heart”) and a DRM-free Beatles tune for $1.29

* I watch this stuff for theatrical value. Steve Jobs’ keynotes are among the best in the industry, whether you like Apple or not. This one feels fake from the very start and drags on and on.